The present discussion between K and I are a CB6000. I have never encountered one in use although I have a few submissive friends with them and have named them various names like the Hellbringer, Frustrator, and some not so how shall I say cute names. He is over seas and at this point in time and discovered the joys of being apart from his Mistress, me.
The first time he was away, we hadn't met yet and we were getting to the getting to know each other stage which was fine because I go slow. I learned the follie of my ways by going to fast and learned it well so I go slow and carefully making sure the submissive and I are at least combatible for the basic needs of trust, responsiblity and temperment. Besides the longer the interview process the better you learn what the person is truly like. So we learned about each other in long emails, longer phone conversations, and after the first meeting we still communicated until the first session together which was almost perfect. You really don't strive for perfection but sometimes it smacks you in the face. In any case he's wanting a CB6000. Why you ask beause his hands tend to stray below his waist band on a frequent basis. This is not acceptable behaviour. Although he is allowed to masturbate whenever he wishes he is not allowed to ejaculate. That belongs to me, this being the case he feels he needs an additional incentive not to touch himself and the 6ooo is it.
So being a responsible type individual I checked it out. Discovered that as chastity devices go it's relatively safe and easy to use however thre is one draw back that causes me a small amount of concern. He not being circumsised must figure out a way to keep himself clean for weeks on end( his normal time out of the country is 6-8 weeks at a clip).
Also being the dominate type that I am I am amused at the turn of the events not at the fact that he has been masturbating without permission nor at the fact that he's been ejaculating without permission but the fact that he wants something to keep him from doing so. I guess it's different for women then it is for men. Although the abscence bothers me to some extent it hasn't bothered me to the point that I want to masturbate, something I don't do in anycase, however the thought of playing hasn't crossed my mind. It could have something to do with the fact that I am in the final weeks of obtaining my degree and basically with no time to go to the bathroom let alone think about sex and the lack thereof.
I am of a mind to insist that he not get one and just not masturbate after all if his hands do not stray past his waist he should not have the urge to stroke. One the other hand he is a a very sexual creature so perhaps he just can't help himself. I'm going to have to think on it some more before I come to a conclusion.
9.30.2008
First
I've driven to the assigned place with my mind on a million scenarios, prepped for that first of what is to be many times together. The instruction were sent during emails in the beginning Leaving no doubt what you wanted or what was expected from the first session together. You know in your mind that all you have said was done and you carry that overly stuffed toy bag with you. Not sure what you are going to use but sure you will use at least one of the items in it. There he is in the hotel a little nervous, not sure what to expect, eyes clear and a little shy so sweet. He chose me, yes it's an ego trip to be chosen and somewhat of a turn on in itself. The trust to do no harm is the second that this individual with a will of his own accepts that he will give up his will to you for the benefit of your pleasure and your enjoyment. To be restrained, blindfolded, and stripped of all but the skin of his body in your presence. It's an ego trip and an acceptance of responsibility to do the best you can to guide, teach, and expand the horizons of both you and the one that choose you.After months of conversations and emails and that all important first meeting. The exchange of information that has been discussed and examined for details left out. Needs discussed and expectations stated, you come to that first session together and it's so intimately exciting and revealing to feel that one precious moment of why you do what you do and the pleasure it gives you both. To feel him trembling in your arms and telling him to hold on to you it will be alright he is safe in your arms. To hear that first grasp of breath as you caress that skin that slightly trembles at your touch. To know that this one has given you the power to bring pleasure or pain or a wonderful combination of both to his world as that collar is slipped around his neck and the leash is there dangling down his back and that look awaiting your first command that will start the journey you have chosen to take together.That one moment of sheer panic you feel when your mind goes blank because this is the first time you are together, that deep breath you take to settle your nerves and that first one is uttered softly but definite.That first uttered yes Ma'am as compliance is attained. It gives me a feeling of joy to see that smile after the session to hold him in my arms and caress that well shaved chin, look in his eyes and say how much he has pleased me. Perhaps I am not anyones idea of a Dominate, but whether the trip is a sensual journey or one filled with that heady combination of pain and pleasure that balance each other to the point where you aren't sure where one sensation starts and the other ends.
9.29.2008
A good slave..
I found this online. I can't remember the poster but I do like the sentiment:
1) Must embrace the concept that his sole purpose in life is to serve his Mistress. Her wants, and needs will always come first. Her family and friends will always come before his family and friends, her career will always come before his.
2) Makes himself useful and of value to his Mistress by doing what is needed rather than what he wants.
3) Does not have to be told what to do.
4) Does not complain or argue.
5) Knows how to keep his place as slave by not stepping over his boundaries the Mistress has set for him.
6) Is willing to please his Mistress without receiving anything in return for himself.
7) Understands that his Mistress is human and so She is allowed to cry, throw a tantrum, make mistakes, etc. and when this happens he needs to show understanding and compassion.
8)Abides by his Mistress's rules.
9) Never tells his Mistress She is wrong, even if he feels She is, unless he needs to in order to protect Her.
10) Educates himself on learning new things so that he knows how to do more things for his Mistress so She will not have to.
11) Is as good of a slave for his Mistress when out in public as he is when at home.
12) Never defies his Mistress.
13)) Is always honest and never lies to his Mistress.
14) Never keeps his Mistress waiting.
15) Never makes plans without his Mistress's permission,(She always make any plans) unless it is for a surprise for Her.
16) Never serves anyone else, without his Mistress's permission.
17) Always compliments his Mistress and does so sincerely.
18) Is only happy when his Mistress is happy..
19) Never, swears at Her, insults Her, calls Her insulting names, belittles Her, laughs at Her, or is rude to Her.
20) Pays attention to what his Mistress likes and does not like and makes an effort to remember it.
21) Always defends his Mistress, verbally by standing up for her, but also physically even if it phyically endanges the slave.
22) Is ALWAYS loyal, devoted, and faithful to his Mistress.
23) Never Tops from the bottom or manipulates his Mistress.
24) Respects his Mistress's privacy.
25) Always sides with his Mistress even if he feels She might be wrong.
26) Appreciates privileges that his Mistress allows him and does not ask for them. he knows that they are rewards that he has to earn, and understands they are privileges not rights.
27) Is willing to make quiet sacrifices for her happiness.
28)Willing to put Her first in all things.
29) Always shows her the highest form of respect not only in words but also in actions.
30) Admiting that She is a higher power.....and your life is a worthless without her.
Understanding she may want you, but does not need you, but you need Her.
31) Understanding that your Mistress is the only one who really knows what is best for you and with her guidance she will direct you accordinly.
32) Making the decision to turn your mind/body and soul over to your Mistress.
33) Regarding women as superior beings.
34) Understanding that serving Her is enough, and that is all he needs.
35) Understanding that being a cuckold to Her is greater than being a lover to any other woman.
36) Understanding that at times being a slave is not easy, but understanding the long term rewards are great.
37) Obey, Obey, Obey, always.
38) Accepting punishments and learning from them.
39) Never questions his Mistress motives or descisions
Lastly a slave has to understand that when everything is said and done, the only thing he really needs in his life is her, everthing else in his life pales compared to Her.
1) Must embrace the concept that his sole purpose in life is to serve his Mistress. Her wants, and needs will always come first. Her family and friends will always come before his family and friends, her career will always come before his.
2) Makes himself useful and of value to his Mistress by doing what is needed rather than what he wants.
3) Does not have to be told what to do.
4) Does not complain or argue.
5) Knows how to keep his place as slave by not stepping over his boundaries the Mistress has set for him.
6) Is willing to please his Mistress without receiving anything in return for himself.
7) Understands that his Mistress is human and so She is allowed to cry, throw a tantrum, make mistakes, etc. and when this happens he needs to show understanding and compassion.
8)Abides by his Mistress's rules.
9) Never tells his Mistress She is wrong, even if he feels She is, unless he needs to in order to protect Her.
10) Educates himself on learning new things so that he knows how to do more things for his Mistress so She will not have to.
11) Is as good of a slave for his Mistress when out in public as he is when at home.
12) Never defies his Mistress.
13)) Is always honest and never lies to his Mistress.
14) Never keeps his Mistress waiting.
15) Never makes plans without his Mistress's permission,(She always make any plans) unless it is for a surprise for Her.
16) Never serves anyone else, without his Mistress's permission.
17) Always compliments his Mistress and does so sincerely.
18) Is only happy when his Mistress is happy..
19) Never, swears at Her, insults Her, calls Her insulting names, belittles Her, laughs at Her, or is rude to Her.
20) Pays attention to what his Mistress likes and does not like and makes an effort to remember it.
21) Always defends his Mistress, verbally by standing up for her, but also physically even if it phyically endanges the slave.
22) Is ALWAYS loyal, devoted, and faithful to his Mistress.
23) Never Tops from the bottom or manipulates his Mistress.
24) Respects his Mistress's privacy.
25) Always sides with his Mistress even if he feels She might be wrong.
26) Appreciates privileges that his Mistress allows him and does not ask for them. he knows that they are rewards that he has to earn, and understands they are privileges not rights.
27) Is willing to make quiet sacrifices for her happiness.
28)Willing to put Her first in all things.
29) Always shows her the highest form of respect not only in words but also in actions.
30) Admiting that She is a higher power.....and your life is a worthless without her.
Understanding she may want you, but does not need you, but you need Her.
31) Understanding that your Mistress is the only one who really knows what is best for you and with her guidance she will direct you accordinly.
32) Making the decision to turn your mind/body and soul over to your Mistress.
33) Regarding women as superior beings.
34) Understanding that serving Her is enough, and that is all he needs.
35) Understanding that being a cuckold to Her is greater than being a lover to any other woman.
36) Understanding that at times being a slave is not easy, but understanding the long term rewards are great.
37) Obey, Obey, Obey, always.
38) Accepting punishments and learning from them.
39) Never questions his Mistress motives or descisions
Lastly a slave has to understand that when everything is said and done, the only thing he really needs in his life is her, everthing else in his life pales compared to Her.
I want
I want……………
You in the spreader bar attached to the ceiling spread eagle and gagged
The look on your face as you hear that first whistling of the flogger as it cuts the air
You with electrodes attached and inserted, me playing with the controls, from low to high and all the frequencies in-between..
Your nipples tender from my attention.
You in the little black dress with the slit up the back in your hose looking as if you were waiting for ravishment.
Your moans as the flogger caresses your skin.
Your whimpers from the flick whip as it decorates your bottom and groin with the patterns of your submission.
The sounds you make while I stroke and caress your appendage until it’s dripping and so very hard.
Your voice as it pleads to be allowed to cum.
Your ass up, your face down while in the shackle.
Your trembling in anticipation of what is to come.
Your hands dancing over my body
Your lips and tongue as they touch me bringing me sweet release.
Your lips tender from my nibbles and sucking.
Your trembles from excitement and anticipation
Looking in your face after I have used you and seeing the contentment there.
The afterglow of contentment that I feel.
The marks of your submission as they bloom in riotous colors of red and pink
My Bliss in the ownership as such a one as you.
My ecstasy
My fulfillment
Your release
Your submission
Your joy
You in the spreader bar attached to the ceiling spread eagle and gagged
The look on your face as you hear that first whistling of the flogger as it cuts the air
You with electrodes attached and inserted, me playing with the controls, from low to high and all the frequencies in-between..
Your nipples tender from my attention.
You in the little black dress with the slit up the back in your hose looking as if you were waiting for ravishment.
Your moans as the flogger caresses your skin.
Your whimpers from the flick whip as it decorates your bottom and groin with the patterns of your submission.
The sounds you make while I stroke and caress your appendage until it’s dripping and so very hard.
Your voice as it pleads to be allowed to cum.
Your ass up, your face down while in the shackle.
Your trembling in anticipation of what is to come.
Your hands dancing over my body
Your lips and tongue as they touch me bringing me sweet release.
Your lips tender from my nibbles and sucking.
Your trembles from excitement and anticipation
Looking in your face after I have used you and seeing the contentment there.
The afterglow of contentment that I feel.
The marks of your submission as they bloom in riotous colors of red and pink
My Bliss in the ownership as such a one as you.
My ecstasy
My fulfillment
Your release
Your submission
Your joy
9.28.2008
Home today with a tooth ache and about to see the dentist. Why are health professionals such wimps when it comes to seeking medical attention? Because we are idiots. I am probably going to have to lose the tooth, but the relief from the pain will be sooooooooooo very nice. As I was reading over the blogs I've posted and next to my name it says I've made 300 comments or the blog has 300 comments not sure which but wow. It's been a year and I've read so much and learned so much. Some one pointed out to me the other day that Dommes are not the bitches that most people think we are. We are human LOL ok human with a few interesting devations but human none the less. So yeah I'm a wimp when it comes to oral care it's that big needle and the evil grin on the dentist face as he approaches me and says this may sting a little. You know the SOB is lying through his mask. So before I go under the pliers I wanted to say HOLY GUANA CHIT Batman this is going to hurt.
I'm hoping I got the questions correct and I'm going to answer them.
Earliest BDSM experience I was married and I managed to marry a male that was interested in spanking. Not me him, after the first year he introduced it into our love life and although it was ackward and somewhat startling, I discovered I liked it a great deal. I had never equated his deferential treatment with being submissive until I looked at it seriously. This was before the internet or really available information and I hadn't a clue what I was doing. I do know that if I wanted to make love the paddle was required to be on the bedside table. The funny thing I forgot to put it up one week, and he walked around with a perpetual hard on for about 4 days until he realized I had not intention of using it on him. That's when I discovered the love I have for hearing a male beg.
I was raised a Catholic and went to either private, American or Catholic schools as a child. One of the things I realized was that nuns were not to be trifled with. The didn't get jokes, didn't like the world damn and would totally freak out on any type of rebellion. By high school my first experience with public education it was a matter of cultural shock. I had never seen students behave they way they did. Talk back to teacher?? So I have to say I was more of submissive in school then I actually am in reality.
My heart crop it was the first official BDSM object I brought for cash brand spanking new. The first time I tried it out it left pretty little perfect hearts all over my treasures bottom, thighs and scrotum.
What I like the least in this world is the stupidity of small minded people and what they do to others that I find so annoying.
I want a 40' chinese junk and the time to sail around the world with nothing more to do then pull up anchor when I am bored and see the next adventure.
What do I wish I hadn't done. Thought I was insane when I found pleasure from inflicting pain. Should have saved my money instead of doing 2.5 years of therapy to find out what was wrong with me. I could have brought land in the Keys for what I paid that person.
Favorite gadget. Butt plugs and my weasel I like that weasel I do it gives such lovely expressions when used on high.
What am I bad at Small talk. Never know what to say. I tend to be shy in crowds and when meeting new people until I am comfortable with them. Which takes time for me,
What are you always asked? Will this appear on my insurance card as a stay in the crazy house? and What is the Baker Act?
Whats Fashionable. I haven't a clue what is fashionable or what isn't. I just wear what I like mostly jeans, tee shirts, and corsets when I'm in the mood. and leather when I feel frisky.
What do you like the most about yourself?My eyes.
About the world that I live in America, about people the stupid shit they do and survive. About BDSM that it exist and that I am part of it from time to time.
What would you be?Myself always. I like me. I need improvement and little renovation here and there but for the most part I have my head on straight. My priorites are straight. I have people that love me and a past with few regrets.
Earliest BDSM experience I was married and I managed to marry a male that was interested in spanking. Not me him, after the first year he introduced it into our love life and although it was ackward and somewhat startling, I discovered I liked it a great deal. I had never equated his deferential treatment with being submissive until I looked at it seriously. This was before the internet or really available information and I hadn't a clue what I was doing. I do know that if I wanted to make love the paddle was required to be on the bedside table. The funny thing I forgot to put it up one week, and he walked around with a perpetual hard on for about 4 days until he realized I had not intention of using it on him. That's when I discovered the love I have for hearing a male beg.
I was raised a Catholic and went to either private, American or Catholic schools as a child. One of the things I realized was that nuns were not to be trifled with. The didn't get jokes, didn't like the world damn and would totally freak out on any type of rebellion. By high school my first experience with public education it was a matter of cultural shock. I had never seen students behave they way they did. Talk back to teacher?? So I have to say I was more of submissive in school then I actually am in reality.
My heart crop it was the first official BDSM object I brought for cash brand spanking new. The first time I tried it out it left pretty little perfect hearts all over my treasures bottom, thighs and scrotum.
What I like the least in this world is the stupidity of small minded people and what they do to others that I find so annoying.
I want a 40' chinese junk and the time to sail around the world with nothing more to do then pull up anchor when I am bored and see the next adventure.
What do I wish I hadn't done. Thought I was insane when I found pleasure from inflicting pain. Should have saved my money instead of doing 2.5 years of therapy to find out what was wrong with me. I could have brought land in the Keys for what I paid that person.
Favorite gadget. Butt plugs and my weasel I like that weasel I do it gives such lovely expressions when used on high.
What am I bad at Small talk. Never know what to say. I tend to be shy in crowds and when meeting new people until I am comfortable with them. Which takes time for me,
What are you always asked? Will this appear on my insurance card as a stay in the crazy house? and What is the Baker Act?
Whats Fashionable. I haven't a clue what is fashionable or what isn't. I just wear what I like mostly jeans, tee shirts, and corsets when I'm in the mood. and leather when I feel frisky.
What do you like the most about yourself?My eyes.
About the world that I live in America, about people the stupid shit they do and survive. About BDSM that it exist and that I am part of it from time to time.
What would you be?Myself always. I like me. I need improvement and little renovation here and there but for the most part I have my head on straight. My priorites are straight. I have people that love me and a past with few regrets.
What I do For Friends
I have a friend that is in her late 60's and a widow. She hadn't had sex since her husband died and decided that she needed something to help her have an orgasm. " I still have a few left in me before I die and I want to have a really good time while I'm waiting for the last one. One day while we were working, my precious wonder called me because I had forgotten to take out anything for dinner and he wanted to know if we were going out instead (a favorite of his) or were we eating in. My household at the time consisted of him and kootchie, a sweet piece of mistreated frailty that I acquired at a Daytona munch. I need to explain kootchie. kootchie was and probably is still a 6 ft 5 inch tall cross dresser reasonably sane and homely as sin, I found her one rainy afternoon being physically and mentally abused by her owner. For some reason it just looked like abuse not just humiliation, and I called it to the attention of the people running the munch after all it was a public, family style restaurant and although she wasn't using profanity she was really being nasty. Her previous owner didn't like the idea of someone interrupting her tirade and stated people should minding their own business cussing every step of the way as she left the restaurant stupid slut was a worthless piece of garbage and that anyone that could put up with her stupidity was welcome to her, her clothing would be on the door step and she hoped some bum took them along with the rest of her possession that would also be on the doorstep. she was in tears almost hysterical truly on the edge. We got her quiet and for some strange reason, I offered her a place to stay until she got back on her feet. Don't ask me why I did it. I am not that generous with my home and my personal space. I really wasn't interested in having a second house mate nor was I in need of another submissive. I still don't know why I offered her a temporary, but I did and I kept her from then until my precious wonder passed. found her what I think was a good home which she still is in at last conversation with her about a month ago. Ok back to my friend. I had been giving instruction to my precious wonder about what I wanted him and kootchie to wear and what to take out for dinner. I didn't know it at the time, but she had been standing behind me and listening with avid interest to the conversation. It took a few minutes to get the point across that we were eating in precious was a serious lover of going out to dinner, but that particular evening it was Friday and I didn't want to deal with the crowds at the local or Daytona places especially during Bike Fest that is pure madness and very slow going.My friend asked me if my wonder was my son and I explained to her that no he was for lack of a better word my room mate/partner. Oh he's your boyfriend she states. I have never understood why people in my age group at the time I was in my early thirties could consider a 46 year old man a "boy". So I sat her down and attempted to explain my sexual activities to her. ROFL MAO her eyes got round as two saucers and she was full of questions about who did what and what happened if this one didn't happen and all types of intriguing possibilities. Once I got her straight on my type of D/s relationship and she asked that age old question how does one woman control 2 males. And I explained to her how it was done. She popped up with the question about the local toy store. I gave her a listing of the ones I had gone to from time to time. She blushed I mean got pink and rosy in the face and with a soft whisper asked me if I would mind taking her since she knew that the police watched those types of places and she didn't want them to take down her tag number. Since I went there frequently could I take her. No problem says I when do you want to go? Next Monday was chosen as Toy Store day. She was dressed in a black trench coat big sun glasses and a big floppy hat. I need to tell you what she looked like so you get the seriousness of my laughter here. She is about 6ft tall and a few inches she weighs in the neighborhood of about 400-450 lbs and moves as fast as a graceful hippo on land. " Do you have enough of disguise?" I ask while laughing so hard I can't breath. I explain that the only thing that they are interested in is her money. She informed me she brought her credit card just in case she found something that was really expensive. I didn't have the heart to tell her that if they wanted to find her the credit card was a dead give away.So off we go to the store which is not crowded but there are a few gentlemen there a few in her age bracket and a few in mine about 10-15 late morning customers in various areas of the store. Since she wasn't sure what she wanted , I asked how big was her husband had been and was he a comfortable fit? She said she hardly knew he was in when he was. After a chocking gasp at that I suggest she try something that looked like what she might wanted. I took her over to the dildo/vibrator section of the store and left her to make her choice in peace while I went to look at some of the fetish and kinky toys which is on the second floor of the store. A few seconds later her voice booms out through the air. I found a 9 inch one that vibrates do you think that's a good choice. First all eyes turned to me then to her. I am really trying not to brain her at this point, so I go over and look it over. It's one of the monsters that is as big around as your wrist. I thought it might be a bit large and suggested one that was slightly more in the realm of possibility told her to stick to the 6-8 sizes and decide if she wanted it to vibrate or not. I went back upstairs and had picked up a few new restraints, a cock flogger, various side butt plugs, a suede flogger, 2 anal probes one vibrating the other non-vibrating and 2 cock cage for I am now shopping for 2 instead of just one. She pops up behind me and asked what are those. By this time she had acquired a following 3 of the gentlemen where aimlessly wondering near us with purchases in hand and as I explained what each item. One of them started nodding his head sagely about the use of butt plugs and the cock cages, and then interrupted with how it feels when it is used. Her eyes did the saucer routine again. Questions answered to her satisfaction she showed me her choice. It was 7.5 inches in length and about 2-3 inches in girth it had a clit tickler at the end and 3 speeds and ran on batteries. She asked how she should use it and I told her with the audience we had acquired during our conversation about the different usages of the items in the kinky section. The sales clerk I must say tolerated her pretty well even after the she tried on the latex dress. Now that was an eye opener. We made our purchases and one the gentleman that had explained to her what the cage and butt plugs felt like gave her his phone number. With some encouragement she gave him hers. He called about 2 or three days later took her to dinner and they discussed the ins and outs of a strictly sexual relationship. It was a match made in kink. She and her kinky gentlemen called me this morning to tell me that they were thinking of getting married what did I think. Knowing her they will in the not to distant future and I have the perfect wedding gift for them
Tagged by Penelope
Gone on a blind dateYes do it all the time when I go to meet a potential partner.
(X) Skipped school
As long as it's between you and me, yes especially senior year.
(X) Watched someone die
Yes way to many
(X) Been to Canada -
Yes
(X) Been to Mexico
Yes
(X) Been to FloridaI
live here.
(X) Been on a plane
God yes and jumped out of one too.
(X) Been lost Everytime
I get in my car and go somewhere.
(X) Been on the other side of the country
Yes
(X) Gone to Washington, DC -
Yes
(X) Swam in the ocean
Yes I love the water and it loves me
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
Thank goodness not frequently
( X) Played cops and robber
When I was 7.
(X) Recently colored with crayons
Not since anatomy class
(X) Sang Karaoke
Not if you threatened dismemberment
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?
LOL yes
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
Yes several times.
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
Not that I remember
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Yes
(X) Danced in the rain
And I was naked too.
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
Yes and I'm still waiting for the answer.
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
Yes
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
Yes
(X) Blown bubbles
Yes and it was recently.
(X) Gone ice-skating
Not since I was in my teens.
(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors
Yepper been there, did that, and loved the results
(X) Gone to the movies
Of course !
1. Any nickname?
Yes several and none of them are bitch.
2. Mother's name?
Mema
3. Favorite drink?
Southern Wine=Ice Tea with Lemon
4. Tattoo?
Thinking about it.
5. Body Piercings?
Ears
6. How much do you love your job?
8 on a scale of 0-10
7. Birthplace?
Belmont Racetrack
8. Favorite vacation spot?
Can't pick just one.
9. Ever been to Africa?
No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner?
Yes
11. Ever been on TV?
Nope but I was interviewed in a local paper once.
12. Ever steal any traffic sign?
Yes
13. Ever been in a car accident?
Yes
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?
4
15. Favorite salad dressing?
Oriental 5 spice
16. Favorite pie?
My Mom's Apple Peach Dream Pie
17. Favorite number?
7
18. Favorite movie?
Not fair I need a top 40
19. Favorite holiday?
Family Reunion Week. You didn't say it had to be a national one.
20. Favorite dessert?
Banana Pudding
21. Favorite food?
My home made ground beef Calzones
22. Favorite day of the week?
Wednesday it's Hump Day
23. Favorite brand of body wash?
Victoria Secret Amber Romance
24. Favorite toothpaste?
Crest
25. Favorite smell?
Florida after it rains.
26. What do you do to relax?
Reading, Swimming, Walking on the Beach, Sex
27. Ever love someone so much it hurts?
Yeah I was that silly once.
28. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
53 years old
29. Furthest Place you will send this message?
Not sure
30. Who will respond to this the fastest?
Not tagging just wanted to do it.
(X) Skipped school
As long as it's between you and me, yes especially senior year.
(X) Watched someone die
Yes way to many
(X) Been to Canada -
Yes
(X) Been to Mexico
Yes
(X) Been to FloridaI
live here.
(X) Been on a plane
God yes and jumped out of one too.
(X) Been lost Everytime
I get in my car and go somewhere.
(X) Been on the other side of the country
Yes
(X) Gone to Washington, DC -
Yes
(X) Swam in the ocean
Yes I love the water and it loves me
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
Thank goodness not frequently
( X) Played cops and robber
When I was 7.
(X) Recently colored with crayons
Not since anatomy class
(X) Sang Karaoke
Not if you threatened dismemberment
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?
LOL yes
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
Yes several times.
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
Not that I remember
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Yes
(X) Danced in the rain
And I was naked too.
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
Yes and I'm still waiting for the answer.
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
Yes
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
Yes
(X) Blown bubbles
Yes and it was recently.
(X) Gone ice-skating
Not since I was in my teens.
(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors
Yepper been there, did that, and loved the results
(X) Gone to the movies
Of course !
1. Any nickname?
Yes several and none of them are bitch.
2. Mother's name?
Mema
3. Favorite drink?
Southern Wine=Ice Tea with Lemon
4. Tattoo?
Thinking about it.
5. Body Piercings?
Ears
6. How much do you love your job?
8 on a scale of 0-10
7. Birthplace?
Belmont Racetrack
8. Favorite vacation spot?
Can't pick just one.
9. Ever been to Africa?
No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner?
Yes
11. Ever been on TV?
Nope but I was interviewed in a local paper once.
12. Ever steal any traffic sign?
Yes
13. Ever been in a car accident?
Yes
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?
4
15. Favorite salad dressing?
Oriental 5 spice
16. Favorite pie?
My Mom's Apple Peach Dream Pie
17. Favorite number?
7
18. Favorite movie?
Not fair I need a top 40
19. Favorite holiday?
Family Reunion Week. You didn't say it had to be a national one.
20. Favorite dessert?
Banana Pudding
21. Favorite food?
My home made ground beef Calzones
22. Favorite day of the week?
Wednesday it's Hump Day
23. Favorite brand of body wash?
Victoria Secret Amber Romance
24. Favorite toothpaste?
Crest
25. Favorite smell?
Florida after it rains.
26. What do you do to relax?
Reading, Swimming, Walking on the Beach, Sex
27. Ever love someone so much it hurts?
Yeah I was that silly once.
28. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
53 years old
29. Furthest Place you will send this message?
Not sure
30. Who will respond to this the fastest?
Not tagging just wanted to do it.
On The Trail of Quiting Smoking
Worked Sunday night, got off work at 6am this morning. Stopped smoking at midnight. Ok it was 12:15 had to get that last puff in before placing the cigs in the trash (moan). Feel like I'm losing a child, throwing a way a good lover, amputating my right arm. However I did it not happy about it but I did do it. So first step taken. Managed to hit class on time. I've decided to stop drinking coffee while I'm doing this cause it's something to have that first one and that first cup of coffee that says all is right with my world. So no coffee. Now what? Ahhh I know Herbal Tea just have to figure which one to buy. I attend a smoke free campus. No breaks today to much to finish up before the break. Now what? Pop quiz OH GOD why me I did read I didn't retain however I am going to pass this sucker. We are now into deviant sexual practices, fetishes, and what types there are (something I have a passing acquaintance with) Prof. in the front of the room is stating that a CD is transsexual usually homosexual and very confused. OK normally in class I let the people believe what they want to believe and I say nothing. OK today wasn't one of them. Hand goes up Excuse me but you are wrong."Wrong?" he states with an eyebrow raised. Hell I can raise mine to."Yes you are, a crossdresser maybe homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual. A transsexual is someone that identifies with the sex opposite their own and a transvestite is a cross dresser." She states in a calm voice.Classmates in the background turn to look at me with strange looks. Hey I don't need there looks I have a few of my own. He goes on to lecture about fetishes and sadism, masochism, bondage discipline (something else I have a passing acquaintance with) "These(sadist) people prey on others to acquire numerous partners that they thrive on causing pain to their partner. They are unable to obtain sexual satisfaction unless there is pain involved." He states unequivocally, shooting a glance in my direction. Ok folks maybe it's the lack of nicotine, but that seemed like a challenge to me and well hell I stood up looked him dead in the eye and said "Bullshit" and sat down again. Ok I could have been a little more eloquent and definitely more articulate, but all my brilliance was not available. He looks at me again and says Miss What would you know about such behavior. Ok I am not a total fool I do say that sexual deviations have always fascinated me since I knew what sex was. "Sadist don't prey in the BDSM community for long, word gets out about them, although there are a few of those out there the community does police itself to keep others safe. A sadist is one that inflicts pain to a masochist. Which the masochist enjoys craves, needs and wants. In order to get this he/she will discuss what is possible and what isn't which are known as limits some of which, hard ones, not to be crossed no matter what. The masochist will do for the sadist what is discussed before hand and agreed upon. Depending on the amount of pain the masochist is willing to endure which allows the endorphins to come out and turn that pain into pleasure."My study partner at this time looks over at me and shakes his head and grins he knows me for what I am and accepts. Class we seem to have a prodigy amongst us on fetishes. No you don't you have someone that is interested in the world around her and what possibilities there are in it. Ok by this time the urge for a cig was getting strong. What other fairy tales do you wish to tell us about these people that have no control over their baser urges. Ok the urge for a cig is gone and I am now a little pissed.How about open your eyes and look at the world around you and smell the shit you shoveling because it's starting to stink. If you don't know the topic you shouldn't teach it. If you have no interest, take it out of the power points if you can't remove it at least know what you are talking about and stop giving out bad information, and get your facts straight. By this time there is that silence that you get when someone made a fart and it was really loud and it stunk.I love my study partner he's a dream, a joy and my friend and he started clapping. Who can resist a 6ft 5' 360 lbs male clapping. Patted me on the back and said sit your ass down before you get thrown out of class. Ok I sat( I can follow orders occasionally)After class my instructor informed me that I was not to interrupt his class again with my trivial ideas on sexual deviations. Ok this time I kept my mouth shut. I however did lick my tongue out at his back.
Sometimes You Just Don't Think
I live in South Florida the land of sunny days and sandy beaches. One of the interesting things about living in the sunny, humid, and damp place is that it has a treasure trove of insects. I have an infestation of (Lord help me) termites. Those lovely little wood eaters that do their mating flight in the spring of the year. Well last year they mated and produced. I was doing laundry last week, put my hand on the door jam and noticed that it kinda crumbled in my hand. There are these little tunnels under the painted surface. UGH!! So what does any self respecting female do? She called male termite people, made an appointment to be seen within the week and hope that the little suckers don't eat the house around her. The appointment was Saturday morning at 9am.Now this is the fun part my bedroom is a 14x12 room with a closet, 2 windows, soft blue walls with paintings of different forms of BDSM, Fem Dom stuff of course. Nothing to drastic, but a few really nice things with males in submissive roles. I few years back I found an art student locally that actually can paint what I asked for without to harsh a reality something along the lines of Monet and his watercolors. Along with the assortment of prints on the wall There is a bed of course with 4 sturdy floor to almost ceiling posts on all 4 corners of the bed. Think 4 poster with attitude, draped with mosquito netting, Think slate blue extra thick comforter with matching lace and satin Shams, 12 pillow in matching cases and other girlly things. Solid wood golden oak dresser with mirror, lingerie chest, and 2 night stands with a slightly darker blue shade on 2 urn style lamps. Ok setting stage here so be patient. Along with the art work in the bedroom walls are my floggers, crops, nipple clamps, paddles, rope in varying lengths that are macrame for ease in carrying in my toy bag and are easy to pull apart to facilitate use when they are needed. These items hang from sturdy cup hooks. There are a few lengths of chain as well as eye bolts on all 4 corners of the bed as well as in the wall at the foot and head of bed as well as chain under the bed at the foot and at the head. At the foot of the bed is a clear vinyl storage chest that contain my dildos, vibrators, cock rings as well as weights in different sizes and colors. In the back bedroom there is an open closet space that holds corsets in leather and other fabrics sewing equipment as well as more art work this time drawings of bondage scenes as well as a book case with the best sellers as well as BDSM primers such SM 101, The Topping Book, The Bottom Book and other titles in that vein. Assorted heels in varying height as well as things to wear when I want to be my nastiest. The living room is clear of BDSM stuff although there are a few books in the bookcase as well as a table that doubles as a cutting table for sewing and a bondage table. Hey I get two uses out of it I'm a thrifty kinda gal. Having set the stage for what I am about to tell you here is what happen I took off this Saturday from work because this was the only day I could get an appointment at a convenient time. Since I was home I went through my bag that morning and took out my dildos, butt plugs and did the check as well as clean them with soap and water and and put them on a clean doubled towel in the middle of the bed there was about 12 as well as Mr Hitachi and my weasel (anal probe) The floggers I had in the bag I took out and hung them from the side frame of the bed to let them air out as well. Having taken care of my toys I decided to do some sewing. so out comes cutting table, fabric, and new pattern for a corset with some nice synthetic suede from Joann's the door bell rings about 11am and it's the guy from the exterminators coming to inspect the building for my imagined termites. He sits down and takes out his calculator ask me the question those people ask what is the square footage of the house, how long had I noticed the wood problem and so on and so forth. Then he gets up for inspection. Since I told him that I noticed the problem in the garage I assumed that is where his inspection would start and end. Boy was I wrong. He first wonders into the garage through the kitchen and says yes I do have a termite problem and that I should could take care of it as soon as possible. He checks the kitchen and the bathroom and the last room he checks is the Master bedroom. He steps into the room stops dead in his tracks. His stop is so abrupt that I walk into his back while asking him questions. When he turned to face me there was this slightly wild eye look in his eyes, he was a little pale and his speech pattern had gone up an octave as well as become a little rapid so that I had to ask him twice to repeat himself. All the while he is talking he is inching his way around me in the small hallway making sure that in no way, shape, or form did his body come in contact with mine. Have you ever seen those prison films when a guard goes by and the prisoners all press themselves to the wall to give the guard a clear path. If you have you have the idea of what I am talking about. And trust me when I tell you there wasn't a lot of space the area is about 6 foot square. He didn't bother to check the second bedroom he however was walking as fast as his legs could carry him to the front door talking a mile minute that he had left some figures in his truck and he would finish up the estimate and call me back with a quote. I couldn't figure out what the hell had happened. He tore out of the front yard like the hounds of Hell were after him. As I was closing the door, I realized he had hm-mm seen my toys. Now I am wondering if he will call back with the estimate. Oh well if he doesn't there are a few other companies that can handle the problem
Communication
I enjoy conversation, on the phone or in person. Either are fun for me whether they are the type to make your heart race, give you a belly laugh or just pass information from one source to another. Conversation, communication, words thoughts, opinions, and feelings are expressed in words. I however hate to write. Yeah I know I got this blog and from time to time I put something in it but I do hate to write it. Why? For me writing is not a spontaneous thing it is something I think about then put finger to keyboard and express, but speech that is something I live for the give and take of a conversation the tone of a voice as it explains, or the sound of the sighing or moaning as one is so close to the edge that the only thing keeping them from exploding is the lack of the command to do so.I have often thought that finding a partner is a courtship. Not necessarily romantic but none the less a courtship. This particular courtship if not acted on tends to fade from lack of immediate contact. I find that sad. I have little time for the things I want to do. Find a sub, whip him into submission, torture and analyze him So time for me is precious. I've found a way to juggle some of my time and this is a good thing. I am just hoping that I can survive the rush of activity that is about to hit me. I have the silly season off from work (thank goodness first vacation in 4 years) and I am visiting family (haven't seen them in 2 years) and mostly I am going to relax. Sorry changed of subject there but here we are back on topic. Where was I yeah I find it sad. In my opinion a courtship is mutual interest, whether the Domme or the submissive does the courting. Ego (and we all have one no matter if we are Dominant or submissive) requires that the one that is in want of the desired shows interest. If you don't show interest in me how in the devil do I know you are interested. How do you do this? Do I send you flowers hmmm maybe if you are very good little boy and please me. But what if we are just at the learning stage. Ahhhh I've got it CONVERSATION!!!! That jewel of learning that tool for excellent use the VOICE. The needy one picks up the phone and says I was thinking about you and I wanted to hear your voice say your name here you say mine. The desired picks up the phone and says I was in the lingerie shop and saw this perfect pair of panties for you you can pick the color. I am not talking about daily phone calls here I'm just talking about maybe once a week to let the person know you are still alive, still interested, still needy for that individuals attention. Of course there is email words on a page without fire, passion or the thrill of sound. ( I think I've just discovered another of my fetishes the magic of VOICE) Email is acceptable if you are across the country or in another continent from each other and a phone conversation is impossible hmmm however there are those things called phone cards. You know what I mean you purchase one for a set amount and you can talk for hours on one card. Get a card a week and talk until your tongue drags. OK that was another tangent back on topic. I once had a sub in Merry Ole England a few years back which I visited 8-12 times a year ( thank God my job made me travel to Europe 10-12 times a year ah the good days the rest was done by phone or email and when I tell you I used phonecards and cam a great deal believe me I did. But damn he was worth the effort. The times together were exceptional full of fun, playing and relaxing and being served (notice I said served not serviced). Uh oh off on another tangent. In any case it takes two to do this dance my friends. To make it one sided is to make it a chase. This body doesn't run worth a damn I prefer a slow leisurely walk down the road to getting your pants off so pick up a phone tell your Domme you were thinking of her. That woman that you contacted in email tonite, send her another one saying in full complete sentences what it was about her profile that made you think of being bare ass naked kneeling at her feet while she rubs that 12 incher across your lips and says open wide, the submissive that you winked at send him a bling that says what you want to do to him. In conclusion people START COMMUNICATING !!!
How Come I Know This and You Don't
I am for all intents and purposes a rational woman. I have thought about the way I live my life and I understand that it is somewhat outside the box. Hugging corners professionally and totally in orbit in other aspects of it. I am a woman of contradictions as well as solid truths. I know myself. I am outspoken occasionally to the point of rudeness, especially if you work the last nerve. I don't suffer fools gladly, but I do have (forgive me) blond moments. I am not beautiful, but I have a beautiful spirit that is both giving and selfish. I, however, like me. The sad thing is not everyone likes themselves. I'm not talking about a butt too big, or breast too small, or buck teeth or even missing teeth. I mean the person they have evolved into from trial, error, and terror. What is wrong with the human race that they wish to be someone else. Haven't you figured out this is the only life you will get and there are no do overs. THIS IS IT make the most of it please. No matter what your decision on life, love, relationship, be who you were meant to be, but ALWAYS keep yourself safe.I am educated I hold a bachelors degree in business (no I didn't want the Masters) and I'm earning another BA in an another year. I have no limitations other then what I allow myself. Why do you allow others to put limitations on you? Give you an opinion or decide what is good for you? Why hasn't anyone else figured this simple truth out. Do as you need to do. Be what you need to be. Go where you need to. To make you happy content and truly be yourself.
What I Want
I have never given much thought to what EXACTLY I was looking for. And as I search this somewhat silly place for that pearl beyond price I thought it might make sense to detail what I want in my submissive. On this site , I have encountered those of all types the users,the liars, the cheats, the players, the neurotic, the limit makers, abusers, the one nightstands, the unsure, the newbie that says he thinks he wants what I have to offer, the deluded, the delusional, the silly, the strange, the ones that want to feel real dominance while being safe at home with no contact other then the typed word or a phone call, the inhibited, the rash, the confused, and the sad. These are not the ones I am looking for. What I seek is someone that can allow his inner submissive free. Giving me control of his body, his mind and find joy in the freedom that it gives us both. For me to find such a one as that I would cherish, protect, and in my own way love this treasure that is mine for the plunder. I am simple in needs and desires of what I want. I look for someone that is in need of Dominance. He finds joy in being a masochist and understands that I would not harm a hair on his head, but give him pleasure, test his limits of control and endurance, take him to that place that he feels treasured and knows he has pleased Me as no other in the world can. He should be intelligent, self supporting, sane, able to think on his feet, not a player or a user, reasonably healthy, meaning no heart condition, no liver problems, no kidney problems, no respiratory ailments, nor cancers, or special needs, as well as single. He should appreciate a BBW and a woman of color for what she truly is a queen, a seducer, a disciplinarian, a pleasure yet untasted, a comedienne, a trickster, and for the flights of fantasy she will take him to. He should appreciate her gentle, sweet, kind nature, not think her weak because she has these traits, and be deserving of her trust. He should understand that this does not mean she will not tear him a new ass if he isn't the sweet and obedient joy of her life. He should be capable of thought other then those I put in his head as well as able to speak his mind, his heart, and show me he is more then a mindless toy. He will enjoy being forced to wear what I choose during our time together or he will be nude while I tease and torment him to my will. He will know that he gives pleasure from the sight and the thrill of those legs, encased in stockings, those cheeks encased in pastels of soft silk or nylon or covered barely by a skirt or dress that I will enjoy so much. He will understand that I might want to treat his face as a canvas and decorate it with colors to enhance his femininzation or leave him as plain as he was born.He needs to know how to laugh because those are the signs of a mind that is at rest with itself and enjoys the simple and complex. He will understand that I am his owner, his protector, and his shield against those that would use him harshly and discard him carelessly. He will be Mine. He must give fidelity for I will not play with one that must be a flower and have bee after bee sampling his delights, unless that is an order given. Those are the needs I have for a partner in my Dominance. I will accept nothing less. If you are the one that I seek then the first steps are going to go slow and easy. I want to know this person that I will shelter from harm and control with gentle dominance and pain. But before one article of clothing is removed, and my hands glide over your chest to find those lovely nipples that will be twisted or it glides down your torso circling but never touching that appendage that stands erect at the anticipation of that first touch. You feel and see the leather restraints encircling your wrist and ankles and watch while the rope slides through the loops to draw your legs wide and your wrist up, as a blindfold covers those wonderful eyes, the feel of my fingers as they explore and learn this treasure that I have been fortunate enough to find, the sound as the fall of that flogger I have been waiting to try out on your supple skin or the sound the wooden paddles make as they leave their sheath, the feel of the flogger as it circles around your buttocks always brushing but never with the bite that you need, your mind wonders to that space that you go to when you know that you are about to be used completely and joyfully, the cock and ball harness as it fits its way around your jewels and appendage, or the sound of the weights as they leave their case and clank as they are attached to the harness, and that weight drags down that sack you are soon to learn is a playground worth exploring and the fun begins. If you are the one, how can I know this without knowing you?
I am soft. I am sensual. I am compassionate. I am not perfect. I am funny. I am cute not beautiful. I am thoughtful. I am romantic. I am strong, yet sensitive. I am giving and generous. I am a woman that gives pleasure and pain. I am Full-figured, and I am fabulous!Here I am a terrific and unusual person of large and shapely proportions. In search for a submissive male. It's not easy trust me when I tell you that being large and in charge, looking for the special one to crack with a flogger or engage in some other fun activities and not being able to find them. It's frustrating, sometimes demoralizing, and down right aggravating to say the least. Not that I haven't had a sub or two, I've had four in seven years. Why so many? Why so few? So many because all are not serious about the BDSM lifestyle and want a thrill for the moment. I am not a thrill for the moment type woman. I am a here and now as well as then and later type. Why so few? Because I look for quality, intelligence, stamina, honesty as well as not messing with any ones marriage. Most subs unless very young I've discovered (or it's my luck of the draw I'm not sure which) are married and want to add a little spice into their relationship. I am not what you would call the flavor of the month so the spice isn't available here. I don't mind the inexperienced they give me the opportunity to teach what I love to do, as well as learn more about myself and get better with my skills. Then there are those that tell how their previous Mistress did it. Ask me if I give less then a fiddlers finger on how she did it. I don't want your past experience I want your here and now with me so DO NOT tell me about the past. I am your future.So I search for what I want. Things are a little hectic at this point in time. I'm in school full time changing my career and not doing bad with it. I'm passing but for some reason I can't get in my learning groove again this semester. I think it's a lack of not having what I need to stimulate my mental juices to flowing and getting back in to the swing of things as it were.
9.07.2008
Acquiring a submissive and Meeting Needs
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