Something to Think About

I am not the originator of this questionnaire. I found it somewhere online about three or four years ago and kept it because it made sense to me that these are some of the things people wishing to enter into a BDSM relationship should either ask themselves and each other. I have found common sense doesn't always go along with the thrill of finding that special someone that makes you feel powerful or powerless. So before anyone takes their clothing off and the fun begins one should think long and hard about what you want, how you want it and who you want to provide it. The lifestyle that I love can be a dangerous and sometimes and unstable place to meet fellow like minded individuals and the number one priority that I strongly believe in is self preservation. So before you go shopping in the human market of online as well as munchs looking for that perfect someone whether Dominant or submissive take the time to ask yourself and them a few of these questions. I know I have ask and thought about them all before I took the plunge.

What kind of submissive are you looking for?

Are you looking for a masochist who will take as much pain as you can dish out?

Are you looking for a slave?

Someone who will give up all choices?

Are you looking for a naughty girl to punish?

Someone who wants to go over your knee for a spanking?

Are you looking for a pet?

Someone who will whine like a puppy?

Are you looking for kinky sex?

Someone who you can sleep with, have a great time with and blindfold and tie up from time to time.

How much experience do you have?

When did you get started?

Have you had many partners?

Would I know any of them?

What happened with your last partner?

Why aren't you with them anymore?

How did you learn what you know? (It's OK to be inexperienced,and not OK to pretend you have experience you don't really have.)

How much of your experience is cyber vs. real time?

Have you always been dominant?

Have you tried being submissive?

Have you tried switching back and forth?

What are your thoughts on safety in a scene?

Do you believe in safe words?

Have you ever had a submissive safeword?

Tell me about the scene. How did that happen? What did you do?

What are your favorite toys?

Do you like the flogger, the cane, the wooden spoon? (smiles)

Are you more of a sex toy fan?

Do you use insert ables?

How about gags, blindfolds, hoods etc.

Do you like clips, clamps

Where do you like to play?

Do you like dungeon play and a public play space?

Would you rather play in private?

Where do you like to play?

What's the best scene you've experienced as a Dominant?

What made it your favorite?

What's your favorite D/s activity?

What have you never tried that you're keen to try in the future?

Is clothing important to you when you play?
Are you big on: - Leather - Rubber - Special clothing?

Have you asked your submissive to modify themselves in some way?

How do you mark your submissive? - Shaving? - Piercing - Tattoos, Brands - Specific clothing or jewelry

What do you think about collars?
Do you collar your submissive? Is it a permanent collar?

Have you used a training collar or a collar of consideration?

How do you feel about bondage? Rope bondage? Cuffs, leather, harnesses, Long time restraint, short time restraint

Bondage furniture like a St-Andrew's Cross, cage?

Twosomes and moresomes
How many submissive do you think a Mistress or Master can handle at once?

How many have you had at one time?

Do you have other submissive now? If so, how would we all function?

Will there be group sessions or only one on one sessions.

How often will we meet if we are in group?

How often would we meet if we are one on one?

What do you like to be called? Mistress, Domina, Ms (insert name) Ma'am, Master , Sir, Your Royal Pain in my Ass?

What are your feelings on punishment vs. discipline?

Do you punish your submissive if they don't follow your instructions?

What about relationships?

Are you into: - Play partners - A long term relationship - A live-in slave - A potentially permanent relationship

How would you know that you'd found a submissive that you wanted to be with?

What exactly is it you're looking for?

How often would you expect to play?
3 times a week, monthly, daily, when the moon is full or when the mood strikes you?

How often do you think a submissive and her dominant should be in communication?
Every day
Every couple of days
When he requires it
When she wishes to play

Do you have limits on what you will or won't do?

What are the Dominants hard limits?

Do you believe in training a submissive slowly or is it all or nothing?

Can you take little steps in learning each other?

Do you have to commit 100% on the first meeting?